By Caitlin Malcuit
In “Part 13,” Audrey screamed, “I’m not sure who I am, but I’m not me!” to her husband Charlie. Here in “Part 16,” Diane also cries out, “I’m not me.” One of these women is trapped in a façade of the real world; the other is a façade herself. Many of our character have been stuck in a parallax horror, sitting in a pickup truck rolling in place as the background loops over and over. But here, the pace changes; the truck hits the brakes and throws everyone through the windshield.
Mr. C drives up to a rocky field, a spot that matches up to two of the three sets of coordinates he’s received. He fires up a tracker, handing it off to Richard because the young man is much better poised to climb the boulders. The device, Mr. C says, will beep, then beep continuously if it finds something good. Meanwhile, Jerry Horne has made it out of the woods, surveying the situation through his backward binoculars. Suppose the edibles didn’t help him focus.
Richard’s efforts prove to be a success, as the beeps pick up quickly. Just as he hollers, “I’m there!” Richard sets off a trap, flailing as he’s electrocuted, exploding into burst of gold sparkles before he warps out of existence. Mr C. coldly responds, “Oh. Good-bye, my son,” confirming the revolting hunch many had about Richard’s parentage as Jerry curses his bad binoculars. Before he leaves, C fires off another text: “:-) ALL”
In Las Vegas, Hutch and Chantal stake out Dougie’s house, alarmed when the FBI rolls up to see if anyone is home. Randall knocks on the door to no avail, and orders his Wilson to get a car ready for surveillance. The feds depart for Lucky 7 Insurance.
Janey-E, Sonny Jim, and Mullins keep vigil at the comatose Cooper’s bedside, with the young boy wondering if a coma has something to do with electricity, which no, it doesn’t, but in this case, it did. The Mitchum brothers pop in with flowers and food for their dear friend. Ever generous, the brothers tell Janey-E and her son that they need a key to the house--they’re sending trucks over to stock the house up, because when these sort of things happen, who feels like cooking? No one! Bradley leans over to look at Cooper. “It was like, what, electricity or something?”
Back at Lancelot Court, Chantal grabs the last bag of Cheetos to munch on when Bradley and Rodney pull up to unload food at “Dougie’s” house as Hutch idly wonders if one of them is their target. “Do any of them look like our boss?” Chantal snarls. Their bewildered observation is interrupted by a white sedan that says “Zawaski Accounting Inc.” on the side as it parks in front of the assassins’ van. A man steps out, telling Hutch and Chantal that they’re blocking his driveway. They tell him to fuck off, so he escalates by pushing the van with his car. Chantal shoots accountant’s windshield, and he hustles to his trunk to whip out a machine pistol and plug her shoulder. The commotion stirs the attention of Agent Wilson’s and his stakeout buddy, and the Mitchum brothers cautiously watch from Dougie’s door, guns drawn. As Chantal and Hutch try to make their getaway, the accountant kills them both in a flurry of bullets. The van slowly plods down the road as the FBI descend upon this unlikely champion.
In his hospital room, Cooper shoots up in his bed upon a visit from the One-Armed Man, aka MIKE. Cooper earnestly assures his guest that he is “one-hundred percent” awake, and the spirit says the one word that’s been on everybody’s mind: “Finally.”
Cooper learns that his doppelgänger has not been brought back to the Lodge as MIKE gifts him the green ring. In exchange, Cooper pulls out a strand of hair so that another Dougie can be created. The agent’s eyes grow misty, and MIKE says he understands. Janey-E, Sonny Jim, and Mullins return to see their Dougie is finally awake, more talkative than ever. Wife and child go pull the car out front as Mullins says the FBI stopped in at Lucky 7 Insurance. Cooper says this is perfect, shoveling down a tray of finger sandwiches. He pulls out his IV, gets dressed, borrows the pistol that Mullins wears in the holster under his left arm, and calls the Mitchum brothers to fire up their private plane to go straight to Spokane, Washington. The main theme swells as Cooper says his goodbyes—Mullins wants to know what to do about the FBI.
Cooper turns and smiles: “I am the FBI.”
In Spokane, Diane nurses a drink and cigarette, spying the text that Mr. C sent. She hyperventilates as she peers into her purse, taking another swig. “I remember,” she cries. “Oh, Coop.” She texts back the numbers 48551420117163956 and shivers. A dark look comes over her face as she once again looks into her bag—there’s a gun. Diane slowly walks to the FBI’s situation room, hovering in front of the door. Gordon Cole beckons her to head on in, sensing her there.
Diane recounts the night she last saw Cooper—it was three or four years after he disappeared. He arrived, no knock, no doorbell, he “just walked in.” The two sat on her sofa as Cooper grilled her about the FBI’s activities, then leaned in to kiss her. Diane sensed something was wrong and felt afraid. As many feared in their theories, “Cooper” raped Diane. After, he took her to a gas station. Diane begins to convulse and gasp before she collects herself. She shakes out “I’m in the sheriff’s station” over and over before sobbing out that she’s not herself. In a flash, Diane grabs her pistol, but is shot by Tammie and Albert before she can hit them. Her body surges forward and disappears. “Wow,” Tammie whispers. “That was a real tulpa.”
Diane materializes in the Red Room armchair, as MIKE says someone manufactured her. Her head cracks open, emitting black smoke and a golden seed before the form disappears in a crackle of electricity.
Audrey and Charlie stroll into the Roadhouse, as Edward Louis Severson III plays on stage (Eddie Vedder, everyone!). Charlie orders two martinis as Vedder sings, “And I am who I am/Who I could have been/I will never have the chance.” After the performance, the MC comes back out to introduce “Audrey’s Dance,” the crowd pushing back to give her the floor. Ms. Horne slowly drifts out in a reverie, swaying to the song she danced to on the jukebox way back when. Her performance is cut short by a man lunging at another, starting a brawl. In the chaos of flying fists and broken glass, Audrey runs back to Charlie, begging him to get her out of here, but she jolts awake in a bright white room in front of a mirror, crying out, “What? What?” Maybe she can escape it.
More “Twin Peaks” Coverage
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Recap: Parts 14 & 15
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 13 Recap: Come on Down!
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 12 Recap: The Ex-Files
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 11 Recap: Crust Desserts
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 10 Recap: We’re Up All Night to Get Lucky
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Park 9 Recap: You’re Gonna Have Yourself a SCUB-y Snack
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 8 Recap: Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 7 Recap: A Little Ditty ‘Bout Coop and Diane
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 6 Recap: Call It, Friendo
- ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 5 Recap: Shovel Yourself Out of the Shit
- 'Twin Peaks' Parts 3 and 4 Recap: Doughnut Disturb
- The Time Presents Itself: 'Twin Peaks' Premiere Is A Beautiful/Terrible Nightmare
- Episode 195: ‘Twin Peaks’ and Other Tales
- There's Always Music in the Air: Revisiting the 'Twin Peaks' Soundtrack