J.K. Simmons

Scotch, Cocktails, and Beer: Your Drinking Guide to the 2015 Best Picture Oscar Nominees

Michael Keaton in "Birdman"

Michael Keaton in "Birdman"

Oscar night should find you dressed in white tie and tails, drinking a fine alcoholic beverage, and enjoying anything other than the Academy Awards broadcast.

In order to add a little extra buzz to your weekend movie-watching, the Writer’s Bone crew put their heads together and came up with the perfect spirits to pair with this year’s Best Picture nominees.

Cheers!

“American Sniper”

Daniel Ford: A six-pack of Budweiser…but keep it away from the fake baby!

“Birdman”

Sean Tuohy: Scotch…a lot of scotch. But you have to start with bad scotch, like the worst kind you can find, and then move onto top-tier stuff. Just like the characters in the movie, you start at the bottom and work to the top....only to throw yourself out a window because you realize you are drinking by yourself on a Friday night and you are not Batman.

DF: Ah, Riggan Thomson (played by Michael Keaton) would drink Jameson right before eviscerating a New York City theater critic. I’m sure it also helped Riggan deal with pain caused by Ed Norton’s character Mike taking a dump on his reason for becoming an actor. Also, if you’re going to drink this while watching the movie, you must do it in one take.  

Lindsey Wojcik: Drink gin alongside Mike as he goes method for his Broadway role. Gin could be the ideal elixir for navigating the ambiguity of the film.

“Boyhood”

Stephanie Schaefer: Anything you can steal from your parent’s liquor cabinet.

DF: Handle of rotgut vodka. Just don't be like Mason’s first stepfather and hide your jug in the laundry room (also don’t send your kid in to cash your bogus check at the package store). Have some class and add a splash of OJ at the very least.   

“The Imitation Game”

DF: A gin and tonic goes well with brilliant English mathematicians besting Nazis, right?   

ST: Pimm’s. The most English drink on the planet.

“The Grand Budapest Hotel”

DF: Sherry.  However, to borrow Amy Poehler’s line from the Golden Globes, you must drink it out of old tuba parts.

ST: Hmm…Château Margaux? Yeah, like the movie and Wes Anderson, that should be pompous enough to get you through the movie.

“The Theory of Everything”

ST: A Four Horsemen, or any other cocktail concoction that leads to enough bad decisions you end up a cripple.  

“Selma”

ST: A big glass of tolerance!

DF: I could have went the classy route and picked one of Martin Luther King Jr.’s favorite drinks, but why do that when I can celebrate one of the biggest a-holes of the 20th Century. According to the staff at Lyndon Johnson’s Presidential Library, Cutty Sark was his favorite scotch. You don’t get to be a bastard by drinking the good stuff, I suppose. This was a man that used to hold meetings while he was on the can. I hope for the sake of his staff these meetings weren’t held after he downed Mexican food and this shitty whisky in equal measure.

“Whiplash”

DF: Despite my recent infatuation with bourbon and single-malt scotch, Johnnie Walker Blue remains a perfect choice no matter the occasion. Since “Whiplash” deals with the relentless, and, at times, bloody, pursuit of greatness, the film needs an equally accomplished cocktail. Pour Johnnie Walker Blue into a glass with a heavy bottom (no ice, you heathens) and enjoy Miles Teller wailing on a drum set. As an added bonus, you can hide in the box Johnnie Walker Blue comes in when J.K. Simmons starts calling you a pussy.

ST: It has to be something weak and disappointing, but that everyone likes for some reason. Bud Light, perhaps?

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