Episode VII

4 Nerdtastic Moments From the New Star Wars Teaser Trailer

By Sean Tuohy

On Black Friday, the legions of Star Wars and nerd let out a deep squeal of joy as the first teaser trailer for the new Star Wars film was released. 

Fans of the saga were overjoyed because it looks like we’re getting a real Star Wars movie (unlike the abominations that are the prequels). The trailer shows just enough nerd cleavage to get us all excited.

So let’s list the top four moments that made us jump with joy.

X-Wings Are Back

Who hasn’t pretended to fly one of these bad boys in a make believe battle against the Death Star? They return to form by flying over the water in perfect formation, ready to go blow something up.

Is This The Droid We’re Looking For?

I have no idea what the hell that thing is, but it looks awesome. It’s rolling down the street, making beeping sounds, and looking cool.

A Black Stormtrooper

Thank goodness there is another black person in this galaxy and he’s a stormtrooper. I want to know who this dude is, why he’s in that uniform, and what the hell he’s so scared of? Are there angry racists in space? Is it Luke? Is Luke a racist?

The Falcon Soars

The coolest spaceship in the galaxy is back and man were we thrilled to see her. The mighty ship appeared in the last seconds of the trailer. Which one of you 40 million people that have watched the trailer so far didn’t fist pump like a small child and point at the screen and scream “Oh my god!”?  Were you like whiny Luke in “A New Hope?” If you uttered, “What a hunk of junk,” then you need to be cast into a dune on Tatooine that’s used as a toilet by the Hutts. Let's hope we see a graying Han Solo at the controls sooner rather than later. 


Whoever made this George Lucas version deserves a Jawa parade where Jar Jar Banks is sacrificed at the end in his honor.